Inspiration & Motivation Joy

Starting Over: Not Easy but Possible

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Written by Edith Rodriguez

 

Lately I’ve thought a lot about these two words starting over.”

 

When I moved to California a few months ago I thought starting over would be very easy.  I thought I’d have a lot of new friends, that I’d start over with my fitness goals, possibly have a new job, have a new church, and possibly take new classes and explore other career possibilities.

 

I was into a big surprise!  The process to accomplishing these goals has been very slow and starting over has been more difficult than I thought.

 

I’ve discovered starting over is not easy at all! Whether it be starting over with your fitness goals, health goals, moving cities, ending or starting relationships, a career change or a whole life change in itself, there are many things that accompany starting over.  But starting over also will take you through new discoveries in your life.  Here are the negatives and the positives from starting over.  The goal is to not allow fear and indecision to have control.

 

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Starting over is sometimes accompanied by:

Fear:

I sometimes fear not knowing what is next for my life-or the loss of control.  I’ve always had my life planned out, but after the move things changed.  I don’t know where and when I will work and if I’ll like it.  I fear making new friendships-what if they’re not as awesome as my friends from back home?  Fear can place obstacles in our vision about what career changes we want to make, what relationships to start or end, fear to fail at our fitness goals again, and fear of feeling lonely when changes happen.

 

 

Indecision

When starting over we can become undecided about the new choices we are confronted with.  It can go hand in hand with fear.  We sometimes over think situations and can’t choose one thing or the other.  We get so confused and undecided that it holds us back from starting over.  For me, I have been undecided about going back to teaching for many reasons. One being the fear to start over in a new state and not knowing the demands that will come from starting again.  Undecided because my goal was to stay home a year for certain reasons, but I haven’t liked being home at all.   Am I the only one who ends up not doing anything because you become so undecided about life choices and starting over that you do nothing at all?

 

Discoveries:

Starting over is beautiful.  Though we enter life changes with fear of what will happen next, we end up finding beauty.  We discover new people who might just lead us to new and exciting paths.  We discover new hobbies and ideas that we want to carry out in our lives.  We discover what we are capable of.  The more we start over, the more we discover about ourselves.

 

Bravery:

Every life change whether big or small challenges you to expand and reach horizons you have never reached before.   Each time there is a change, we discover new lessons and new opportunities.  We learn to stretch ourselves into new ventures and we learn to become fearless each time we face the change we are scared to take.

 

Joy:

Starting over is sometimes about getting up when we fail at something,  like a health goal or a failed relationship.  But when we come to realize that it’s okay to fail and starting over and trying again is better that just allowing ourselves to fail, it is then we will experience joy.  Joy because failing doesn’t make us miserable anymore.  Instead it pushes us to do our best, to start over.

 

Control:

We are in the driver’s seat of our lives.  We have a choice about what way to steer it.  Do we want to start over or do we sit around with fear or indecision about life choices?  We can take ourselves through beautiful journeys or we can self destruct ourselves with fear.  Sometimes, life will throw challenges at us that are out of our control.  When this happens, it’s not always possible to control our lives and what we want to do with it. But we do control how we feel about these journeys and the challenges we face. When we choose to control our emotions with positivity, we are already choosing happiness for our lives.  Control the way you feel and take control of an action plan that will help you reach your goals.

 

Plan of action:

My first two points bring me to think about the fearless person I was in high school when I was preparing to start over by attending college.  How was it that I felt so successful and accomplished my life changing goals?

It was as simple as having a plan of action.  I had set goals and deadlines for myself that took me right through every moment in my life during those years in high school and college.

When starting over we need to take it one step at a time.  Do you want to be healthier?  Set an eating plan.  Do you want to be fit?  Set a workout plan.   Are you wanting to start over in life with a new career?  Explore different classes, volunteer or research what you have in mind.  Is there a relationship change there needs to be (ending a friendship, improving a marriage, ending a hurtful relationships, improving family relationships)?  Act upon it by finding the best way to make this change happen.  Set deadlines for your plan of action and most of all be fearless!  Do it even if it’s scary!

 

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It’s not easy to write this post and admit that starting over has been extremely hard for me.   I wrote it because since I moved, I’m always thinking so much about how to start over that I haven’t started over.

 

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has done this, right?  Think so much about something that you don’t do anything at all?

 

I’ve wanted to start new fitness and health goals, but I don’t.  I’ve wanted new friends, but how will I make them if I seclude myself?  I’ve wanted to explore new career options and to find a job, but how if I don’t have a plan of action and am lacking willpower?

 

Just like that fearless person I have always been, I write this post with the intention to challenge myself to be that person once again.  I choose to drag myself out of this fear and indecision that came after starting completely over the day I moved.

 

Today I start an action plan and begin my step by step process to reaching those goals.  I choose to start over in life by setting a new vision for my life that is based in being positive about everything in life once again.

 

If you find yourself in the same place as me, needing to start over, I challenge you to also make a plan of action.  Choose to be fearless today!

 

 

 

 

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Is there an area in your life that you need to start over with? What fears do you face when starting over? How do you overcome them? Please do share with me!

 

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About the author

Edith Rodriguez

Edith Rodriguez is a wife, teacher, adventurer, and the blogger at Unblemished. On her blog she writes lifestyle posts on living a healthy and joyful life. Her hope is to inspire and motivate you to live a life in wellness.

3 Comments

  • Hi Edith!

    I totally agree with you – starting over or adjusting to changes in life can be quite overwhelming and even frustrating. All the fears and uncertainties make us so reluctant to do what we know we should be doing. On the same time, the awareness of how awesome we will be once we start and get there keeps motivating us, and hopefully, we eventually succeed in starting.

    I do suffer at times by thinking or planning so much that I never actually start doing it.

    Thank you,
    Atiba

  • Hi Atiba! Right!? You are right though, knowing how awesome change can be does motivate us. I’ve always loved change. I think it’s a great opportunities for new things to come into our lives. This time, I don’t know what happened to me. I think I was facing too many changes at once while I was going through a hard time in my life after my miscarriage. I felt so vulnerable and defeated, and fear took over my excitedness for change when I moved states.

    Haha! It’s horrible isn’t it!? We spend so much thinking and planning that we don’t start doing. Good thing we learn and grow and blogging helps us better ourselves when we write about it. Thanks for coming by!

    Have a wonderful week…

  • That’s right. I am open to changes but sometimes they do get too much to handle at once. Besides, sometimes the changes happen in a way that it seems our world has changed upside down!

    Yeah, and it feels very bad when we look back at all our plans and realise that we never worked on them!

    But anyways, blogging sure helps to grow. Sometimes while thinking about a post, I find that I’ve suddenly made a new self discovery or unknowingly addressed an issue that was troubling me!

    A great week to you too!

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