Real friends don’t exist is one of the biggest lies I grew up with. Of course, even hearing that most of my life I still got very close to friends and some friendships were broken and others weren’t.
At a point in my life I came to believe real friends didn’t exist. I learned to doubt people and their motives behind their actions. Friends were people who betrayed, envied, used you for their convenience, and were only temporary. I had a strong view of the negative aspects of friendships and hardly focused on the positives.
Real Friends Don’t Exist?
My beliefs about real friends not existing became more obvious during my teenage years when my best friends and I would part and go through misunderstandings that caused us to feel hurt, betrayed, and lonely. It is then that I remembered being warned that real friends didn’t exist. I was mad at myself for putting myself in a vulnerable position and allow myself to feel hurt by a friend. I reminded myself how I knew better but still got close to people.
A few years later, I was reunited with two of those friends. Older and more mature, we forgave and forgot about our past issues and allowed ourselves a friendship again. I always reminded myself to be careful and never trust completely or get too attached. Within the years, our respect for each other grew and we formed a bond that was honest and true. I realized real friends do exist.
Real Friends Do Exist
It’s this week in particular that my belief in real friendship became more obvious than ever. One of my friends came to visit me in California from Arizona and we reunited as if no days had passed since we last saw each other. This year has been quite lonely for me in a new state, but my friend chose to keep me company and I was worth the price she paid for travel and the time away from her husband.
What makes our friendship so special? We have always been able to lean on each other equally in times of need. We share the same values, similar dreams, and make time for each other when we can. We have based our relationship on trust, honesty, respect, love, encouragement, and on feeling genuinely happy for each other. We pray for each other in times of need and teach and share new ideas with each other.
Real Friends Aren’t Perfect
I’ve had a handful of ‘best friends’ who weren’t my real friends and unfortunately there are times we don’t discover this until later. Many times we see warning signs we put for ourselves and we stay in unhealthy friendships. But knowing who your real friends are is a learning process and you eventually find out who is the perfect friend for you.
Real friends exist, but we have to know they aren’t perfect and neither are we. They will make mistakes and sometimes we will be hurt by misunderstandings. This is where we have to be careful in a friendship. Real friends don’t let issues get between them, instead they are fast to forgive. Those issues get fixed by talking about them with full respect and complete honesty. It’s similar to a marriage where you must have communication and trust.
Real friends are those who are happy and encourage each other in various ways, whether it be trough making time, prayer, or through words. A real friend doesn’t use the other only to feel better and to receive, but a real friend also gives. It’s about both relying on each other, not just one relying on one all the time. It’s about both looking and making time for each other, not just one doing all the work.
Thankfully, I have found that in my friend. Even when I don’t see her often, or at times we become too busy to get in touch, we are there for each other when we most need it. There has never been a sign of envy or doubt about each other. On the contrary, I have never felt more honesty and respect from anyone else than her. Every issue has always been communicated and fixed immediately. All of this combined has allowed us to lead a long friendship and not repeat the mistakes from our teenage years.
And I can say that if you have found someone who you feel respected by, loved, and can feel their honesty, never let them go! True friends are hard to find but there is one out there for everyone. It’s like having a soul mate friend like Cristina and Meredith from Grey’s Anatomy. 🙂
Real friends do exist! You just have to find the perfect one for you.
What qualities do you value in a friendship? What characteristics should a friendship have? I’d love to hear your opinion!
Thank you my friend for being honest, respectful, and always wishing the best for me!
Cover Photo Source: Flickr